


Feeling It Out

by defying3reason



Category: Batman (Comics), DCU (Comics), Nightwing (Comics), The Flash (Comics)
Genre: 90s Flash, Blind Date, Bullying, Dysfunctional Family, Family Drama, Friendship, M/M, pre-boot
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-09-28
Updated: 2016-08-25
Packaged: 2018-02-15 10:26:49
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 13,629
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2225607
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/defying3reason/pseuds/defying3reason
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Running down the side of a building after your buddy comes out to you can be easily misconstrued. Once Piper and Wally get a chance to really talk after their teamup, Wally reveals that he's not homophobic in the least, just really prone to shiny-yellow-boot-in-mouth syndrome. In fact, while they're chatting Wally reveals that he has a few other gay friends, and one of them is single...</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I wrote this with some limited free time at work, so it likely contains typos and any kind of plot structure will be absolutely minimal. At best. This is also just an attempt to get used to working with these characters again after a prolonged absence from the universe, so this doesn't tie in with any of my previous work.

"Wow, I still can't believe that actually worked." The ridiculousness of their ruse struck Piper once more with powerful force as he struggled to wriggle out of his borrowed shiny red spandex. Wally was in the next room, having changed into street clothes much more quickly and efficiently, and not just owing to the superspeed. The costume was obviously designed with his sleekly muscled form in mind, not Piper's recently acquired chub.

"Eh, I told you, the guy was only going to give you a passing glance. Adrenaline's funny that way." Wally sounded utterly dismissive and as confident as ever. Piper could only shrug. Clearly the kid's methods worked for him, and Piper did have a tendency to sabotage his old projects by over-thinking them.

He finally finished ridding himself of the clingy fabric, threw on his more accustomed grubby sweats, and joined Wally in the main room. He wadded up the costume into a ball and tossed it on the kid's lap, where he was lounging on his couch.

"Dude, you're wrinkling the hell out of it! C'mon, aren't you guys supposed to be good with clothes?"

Piper quirked an eyebrow. "You guys?"

Wally winced. "Did I put my foot in my mouth again already?"

"Kind of, yeah. I'd appreciate you not reducing me to stereotypes just because you know about my sexual orientation now. I mean, geeze Wally..." Piper stepped around the couch so that he was in full view of his friend. More specifically, so that his grungy grey sweatpants with the rips and sealer stains, as well as the stretched out band t-shirt complete with tiny burns from careless moments during his tech work, were on full view. As well as his broken and stubby fingernails, his messy orange ponytail, and unflattering but environmentally friendly footwear. "I'd say it's rather obvious that I'm not now, nor have I ever been, one of the obsessively over groomed and fashion conscious gays you're thinking of. I'm still me. There's no reason to suddenly reevaluate everything you knew about me before."

"I know, I know. You're not actually the first gay guy I've been friends with."

That got his attention. "Really?" Piper frowned thoughtfully. "But...but you ran down the side of the building to get away when I told you."

"Is that what it looked like?" Wally sat up a little straighter, looking mildly horrified. "No, no-no-no, I swear it wasn't a hasty retreat. I actually did have a meet up with Superman I was late for. I mean, c'mon, I called you less than twenty four hours later to pull you in on the team up. That should exonerate me, shouldn't it?"

"I'd thought you just needed some space to process it. I didn't weird you out?"

"I didn't see it coming, but people say I'm kinda dense, so...yeah. You don't think much of me, do you Piper?" Wally teased.

"It's not that. People just...don't always respond that well when they find out. I've come to expect the worst." Piper sat down on the arm of the couch. Wally looked intrigued.

"Coming out to supervillains must have been something, huh?"

"I was thinking of my parents, actually. But you're right. It wasn't exactly a treat when the Rogues found out. So wait, you've got other gay friends?" And he was still that unintentionally insensitive?

Wally smirked and nodded. "Yeah. One of my best buddies is bi. He came out to me back when we were kids. So, y'know, as far as the putting my foot in my mouth thing goes, that's probably never going to go away because I still say stupid shit now and I've been besties with a bisexual guy for ages."

"I'll keep that in mind," Piper said dryly. "Is your friend cute?" He'd said it teasingly, but Wally looked to be taking the throwaway comment seriously.

"He's supposed to be, yeah...and he's single at the moment and you're not _that_ much older than us..."

"Wally, I was kidding. I don't want to date a twenty year old kid."

"You sure? Us twenty year old kids can be a lot of fun. Besides...this is my best friend we're talking about. I'd kind of like to see him set up with someone who wasn't an asshole to him, intentionally or otherwise. He keeps winding up with girls who mess with his head, and then this one asshole he's been on-again off-again with since we were in high school. I found out the other kid was bi when I walked in on him examining my friend's tonsils in the old Titans HQ. We had meetings in that room. You should _not_ go that far with someone on a couch that's communal. We all had to sit there, and I don't care if you scotchguard it; that was still really inconsiderate."

"Wait, you're talking about setting me up with one of the former Teen Titans?" Piper had just assumed he was talking about one of his old friends from Nebraska or something. He couldn't for the life of him imagine which of the Titans Wally was referring to. Obviously one of the originals, if they went back that far...

Oh. Oh, Nightwing was one of the original Teen Titans...but no, even if the rumors were true and the kid was also into guys...Wally would never think to set the two of them up, would he? 

Wally picked up on Piper's sudden interest in the idea, and he laughed. "Yeah, I'm not the best judge of male beauty or anything, but from what I hear my friend is quite the looker. You think you could see past youth and immaturity for one date?"

"I might...um, well...I'll give it some thought."

"Cool. I'll float the idea by him and see what he says. Maybe me and Connie could double with you guys."

Piper just managed to keep his displeasure at that suggestion from showing on his face, but it was a near miss. He didn't exactly have anything against Connie. She was a sweet girl, and when Piper talked to her one on one he actually rather liked her...but her and Wally together were a miserable combination. Quite possibly the last thing he wanted to do was be stuck in a confined space ostensibly trying to get to know an attractive superhero while Wally and Connie bickered with each other and tried to get any and all bystanders to take their side in the quarrel. Because Piper was friends with Wally, he'd be expected to side with the kid, but the thick skulled idiot was almost always in the wrong regarding how he treated women.

"That's...certainly an idea," Piper said, only slightly haltingly.

"She's been bugging me to take her someplace nice. Yeah, the more I think about this, the more fun it sounds. I'll let you know what Dick and Connie say."

Piper left Wally's place shortly thereafter, puzzling over his possible blind date with a former Teen Titan.


	2. Chapter 2

The date with Wally's friend never ended up happening.

Wally disappeared for a couple of weeks, as was his habit. He was one of those friends who dropped off peoples' radars for long stretches, but when he showed up again it felt like no time had been lost at all. During the couple of weeks Wally was off saving the world with other friends, Piper overthought the idea of going on a date with an ex-Titan, and decided that the age difference was creepy. It was only actually about five or six years, and he'd have no qualms about dating someone five or six years older than him, but still. If it was one of Wally's friends then it was going to feel creepy; the kid was starting to feel like a kid brother to him.

During that time, Piper also met Michael the chef, and by the time Wally pestered him about the double date he felt committed enough not to want to go out to dinner with another guy. Wally took the news harder than Piper expected. He seemed genuinely upset that Piper didn't want to go out with his buddy.

"But...but he's hot. Why wouldn't you want to go out with a hot younger man?"

Piper shrugged. "Right now I'm the hot younger man. I'm sorry, Wally, but I'm really hitting it off with Michael and I want to see how things go."

"But it's _Nightwing_. He's gotta be better than some stupid chef you've just met. Just who is this guy anyway? Do you have anyone to vouch for him? How do you know he's not secretly a supervillain trying to get close to you so he can attack you or something?"

Piper stared at him in stunned silence, and Wally had the sense to look a bit embarrassed. "Sorry. But that sort of thing does happen. And I still think you're being a bit stupid about this. Some civilian guy you just met is _not_ more of a catch than my superhero longtime friend."

"Wally, I'm very flattered that you think I have enough going for me to interest a young man like Nightwing, but I promise you, I've given this some thought and I think I'm better off sticking with someone more my speed. Michael's not as glamorous as Nightwing, of course..." Piper couldn't help but wince a little as he said it. Truthfully, he'd had a crush on the younger hero from about the time he'd dropped the childish Robin persona in favor of his spandex clad walking-wet-dream persona. "But Michael's a nice enough man and we've got chemistry. I don't feel it's fair to walk away from that."

"But-but-"

"Is there any particular reason you're so dead set against me dating Michael?" Piper asked, finally starting to feel genuine irritation with his friend.

Wally pouted. "No, it's not really about you. I just want Nightwing to go out with someone who doesn't suck and isn't going to jerk him around for once. Not that I really have anything against the old Batgirl or Starfire...but those relationships sucked and I'm sick of hearing him bitch about his love life. I'd rather hear him _exult_ about it, y'know?"

Piper felt a little thrown. "And...you think we'd be good together?"

"Well yeah. You're both awesome, so if I put you together that'd only add more awesome, right? Plus Arsenal's been flirting with him again, and I seriously might run headfirst into a wall at full speed if they start that tangled mess of fucked-up-edness again."

"Oh..." Piper wasn't quite sure what to make of that. On the one hand, his low sense of self-worth was being nicely appeased by Wally's easy, even thoughtless insistence that he'd be a good boyfriend for his close friend. On the other hand, the thoughtless impulsivity by which Wally had come to this conclusion was far from comforting. Just because Wally got along well with the two of them as friends didn't necessarily mean they'd make a good couple.

In his continued difficulty accepting Piper's refusal, Wally started bringing Nightwing around. He said it was just a coincidence that the frequency of his teamups with his friend coincided with his attempt to fix him up with Piper, but seeing as Piper was neither stupid nor suffering a recent head injury, he of course didn't believe him. Still, he played ball. When the Flash and Nightwing showed up in his workshop, Piper helped them with their gear without drawing attention to the thinness of Wally's ruse. He made conversation with the guys, checked Nightwing out a little because he was only human, and then happily sent them on their way with their improved tech.

One day they stopped by with hopelessly smashed comm devices. Piper took a look at the things, arched a skeptical eyebrow, and then swept the pieces into a spare pencil box he happened to have lying on his workbench. "I don't know what kind of abilities you think I have, but those poor things are past the point of no return."

"The guy who had us hostage for a little while really didn't want us calling in the League," Wally explained. "So you can't fix them?"

"Nope. I could probably build you new ones based on them, but that's not going to be a while-you-wait kind of project."

"Kay. Guess we'll get out of your hair then." Wally stood to leave, but they both noticed that Nightwing was looking a little worse the wear for his recent adventure. He'd been leaning heavily against the wall where he was sitting, and when he climbed to his feet he let out a weary groan. Piper reflected that unlike Wally, this hero was only human and possessed no superhuman abilities to help him out with healing and just general fatigue.

"You guys don't have to take off right this second. If you want to...uh, what's a good social sounding pretext for telling you you should change into comfy clothes and take a nap? Should we call that watching a movie?"

"That sounds perfect," Nightwing said. "I don't have any civilian stuff with me. Can I borrow something?"

"Absolutely. I have almost nothing but scruffy comfortable clothing." Piper led them out of his workshop and into the main house. He waved Nightwing into the downstairs bathroom so he could clean up, and snuck in some sweats that were probably going to be a little loose fitting, but very comfortable, once he was in the shower.

Wally had switched into civilian clothing and was sitting on the couch with takeout menus arranged in front of him when Piper got to the living room. "Just make yourself at home," Piper teased.

"Working on it. I haven't tried the new Chinese place yet. Is it any good?"

Piper made an iffy motion with his hand. "I didn't care for their veggie delight with tofu, but the greasy fried stuff will probably be right up your alley."

"Cool." Wally looked at the menu with renewed interest, and meanwhile Piper's attention was pulled away by his phone.

"Hello?"

"Hi, Hartley. Do you have a minute?"

Piper felt a warm smile form of its own accord at the sound of his boyfriend's voice. "Of course, Michael. How's everything going? Did you get that work drama sorted out?" He started walking towards the doorway, putting some space between him and Wally in case the conversation turned personal.

It went that way decidedly quickly.

"Work is work. Listen, I'm sorry to do this over the phone-"

"Then don't do this over the phone. That's a terrible phrase," Piper said, smile evaporating instantly. He'd actually heard that one before, several times. "Is this seriously a breakup phone call?"

"Well, we haven't been seeing each other that long. It didn't seem necessary to do it in person."

"We haven't been seeing each other for that long, but I thought we had at least enough of a connection to require courtesy!"

Michael stuttered out some kind of guilt-ridden apology, but Piper was too irritated to really hear him. In addition to the indignation he felt at once more being unceremoniously dumped in a rather rude manner, he could see Wally smirking at him from the couch.

Piper hung up on Michael while he was in the middle of his long winded apology and stalked over to the couch. He flopped down and crossed his arms over his chest. "Say nothing."

"What, did you expect me to tease you or something? Maybe throw in a comment about all that connection and chemistry you two had and how that trumped your close, personal friend's good intentions in his match-making attempt?"

"I will seriously smother you with this couch cushion."

"No you won't. You're not fast enough."

The two of them were childishly smacking each other and calling each other names when Nightwing walked into the room. Piper immediately forgot what he was doing at the sight of the half-naked man (he'd forgone the t-shirt, and Piper's sweats were riding rather low on his hips), whose hair was dripping rivulets of water down his perfectly sculpted torso. Piper was so busy ogling Nightwing's perfect body that it took him a second to notice the man wasn't wearing his mask and oh...oh those eyes were just as pretty as the rest of him.

Of course Wally caught him in the face while he was distracted.

"For fuck's sake!" Piper clutched at his nose and fell back against the couch. "Dammit, Wally! You're not supposed to _actually_ hit during a slap fight!"

"Sorry! I thought you were going to block. Are you okay?"

Piper hunched over, still clutching at his face, but went still when warm, slightly damp skin covered his wrists and gently eased his hands down. Suddenly very blue eyes were very close to him and it was kind of hard to think. Thank goodness his deer-in-headlights mode kicked in, because otherwise he would have babbled something idiotic about how pretty Nightwing was.

And kind of familiar looking, come to think of it. He'd definitely seen those baby blues _somewhere_ before.

"I think you'll be okay," Nightwing said, flashing a perfect smile at him. Piper grinned back, even though his nose was still killing him from the smack.

"Yeah...I know what would help though."

Wally looked positively giddy. Later, Piper would realize that the boy was expecting him to ask Nightwing out, what with having just become single and therefore available. So even with his superspeed, distracted as he was he didn't see it coming at all when Piper hit him with a retaliatory smack.

"Ow! Dammit, Piper! That hurt."

"Funny that, isn't it?"

Nightwing sat back on his heels and rolled his eyes. "Children, both of you. Seriously though, Wally said you were reluctant to go on a date with me because I'm younger than you. From the looks of it, our maturity level is hovering around the same area."

Piper's eyes widened. "Wally talked to you about that?"

"Haven't you been friends with Wally long enough to know what his filter's like?"

"Non-existent," Wally said with a nod. "Speaking of which, Piper's boyfriend just dumped him so he's single now."

"I will seriously hit you again."

"Please. Like you could land it this time."

"Piper, is he being serious or is he being an insolent shit right now?" Nightwing asked.

Piper found himself once again mesmerized by the gorgeous young man kneeling across from him. Which was just frustrating, since he was supposed to be the hypnotist. "H-huh?"

"Are you really single now?"

"Yeah, dude. He is." Wally looked absolutely insufferable.

"In that case...are you doing anything on Saturday?"

Piper blinked a few times. "R-really? Uh, I mean no...I'm free on Saturday. Wait, really?"

Wally snorted, then turned it into a cough. Piper would have been more embarrassed, but he was still suffering some kind of hypnotic daze in the wake of that pearly-smile baby-blue-gaze combo. He was too distracted to care how ridiculous he sounded.

"Cool. Assuming nothing cape-related comes up, I'll pick you up at seven. In the meantime, I am all about that nap disguised as watching a movie plan." Nightwing joined them on the couch, sitting closer to Piper than Wally. He periodically flashed flirty smiles at Piper throughout the first half of the movie, then he konked out and ended up napping curled up to Piper's side.

Still feeling dazed, Piper stared at the gorgeous half-naked man snuggling against him, and then gaped at Wally. "I'm sorry I hit you. You're a much better friend than I give you credit for."

Wally stuck his tongue out at him. "Don't I know it."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I just saw the casting announcement about Andy Mientus playing Hartley on the Flash show and I am so unbelievably excited. Guys, guys, Marius Pontmercy is going to be Piper. Omg... :D


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Same deal, still writing this in quick snatches at work so probably riddled with typos and lacking in substance.

To Piper's great surprise, the date with Nightwing went really, really well. Despite his idiotic manner in getting them there, Wally was clearly onto something when he decided that setting up his two best friends was a good idea. 

Piper didn't really know the other hero. There was a lot of gossip about Nightwing, certainly, so he'd heard  _about_ him, but he also knew that that wasn't the same thing as knowing anything of substance about the young man. Having a certain weakness for sexy brunettes (but really, who doesn't?), Piper knew he was interested in Nightwing on a physical level...he just wasn't sure that that would translate to any kind of connection. He'd dated pretty boys before and unless there was a decent brain to go along with the package his interest never lasted.

Well, except for Earl, but that was a different story. A story loaded down with much baggage that he was doing his best to forget.

At any rate, Dick turned out to have nerd interests comparable to Piper's own. They discussed literature, radical politics, the LGBT movement, music theory, and all other manner of intellectual goodies over the course of the date. Dick professed himself a total history nerd, so tentative plans were formed to do a museum crawl through Gotham.

Wally came up a few times throughout the date, which couldn't really be helped what with him being the only important person they had in common. To Piper's immense amusement it turned out that despite them being the same age, Dick took a similar stance to Wally in regards to seeing him as a dense younger brother.

Dick shrugged his shoulders while Piper laughed about it. "I can't help it. I think Wally's even a couple of months older than me, but you'd never be able to tell from the way he acts. Well no, that's not fair. He's been doing amazing things since he became the Flash. I always knew he had it in him, but he needed to get his butt kicked in gear."

"He certainly has matured a lot in the time I've known him," Piper agreed. "I worry sometimes about him getting ground down. The lifestyle can be difficult, and as irritating as some of his immaturity can be...I wouldn't want him to change too much."

Dick nodded his agreement.

"So how does he take mentoring attempts from someone his own age?" Piper asked.

Dick made a face. "About as well as every other Titan. Well no. He listens to me way more than Ro-than Arsenal did. But yeah, at first everyone chafed about taking orders from the kid with no powers. Wally was a pest at first because he wanted to impress the girls on the team, but after Wonder Girl and Speedy started going out he calmed down a little. Enough for me to teach him what I knew about superheroics and have him actually listen to me, anyway." Dick looked a bit uncomfortable, and not just because he'd almost given the real name of one of his friends. Piper diplomatically changed the subject by bringing up an article he'd read on a female abolitionist society that had operated out of Gotham, and that provided them with conversation fodder through dinner.

The date ended with them "watching a movie" at Piper's, but without Wally present they pretty much just made out with a movie on in the background. Piper was wondering if he should break his personal rule, instated after a series of poor choices in his latter teen years, about how far to go with a guy on the first date (it seemed like the rule could use a bendy acrobat exception) when some sort of signal device sounded from the pair of black jeans Dick had kicked onto the floor (okay, so Piper had already pretty much decided on making a bendy acrobat exception).

"Sorry. I should probably get that." Dick reluctantly disentangled himself from Piper and snagged his jeans. Piper awkwardly rearranged his clothing and redid his ponytail while Dick dug out the signal device. "Little busy right now. What is it?"

"You're needed," a gruff voice answered. Piper involuntarily shuddered when he realized that that was most likely Batman on the other end of the line.

He'd put his finger on where he recognized Dick from within a couple hours of seeing him mask-less for the first time and was still grappling with the fact that Bruce Wayne was most likely Batman. Piper had met Bruce Wayne in his civilian life. Sure, he had the build to be Batman, but...but...

The man must have been one hell of an actor, because even with the picture of the ditzy playboy in his mind Piper still felt a lurch of terror from hearing that voice. He wasn't sure he was ever going to be on the right side of the law long enough to overcome his fear of Batman.

"Listen, I'm on a really fabulous date and I fucking need this right now. I'm not taking off for the Cave unless you give me a valid reason."

"Nightwing-"

"I don't owe you any favors. It's actually the other way around at the moment."

There was a moment of tense silence. Piper fiddled with his clothing some more, trying to smooth wrinkles that likely weren't coming out of his one nice dress shirt without ironing.

"...Robin would benefit from your presence."

Dick let out a long suffering sigh. "On my way." He shut off the comm or signal device or whatever it was and stuffed it back into his pocket. "God dammit. There's every chance in the world that he's full of shit and he's just using the kid because he knows I'll come running for Robin every time, but if it is legit...aargh. Damn him. I'm not going to let him screw up another poor adolescent with a hero worship complex."

"Is everything okay?" 

Dick scrubbed a hand through his hair and let out a self-deprecating laugh. "Either Gotham's in danger or Batman got in over his head trying to mentor an eighth grader. Personally, I believe him when he says it's the latter. He doesn't call me when Gotham's in danger anymore. He doesn't trust himself to handle the messy stuff with the kid on his own though, and he knows I'm good for co-mentoring. I'm sorry. I was hoping to leave this shit on the back burner for the night."

"Hey, the spandex life doesn't always let you. Don't worry about it."

Dick smiled in relief. "Ah, the benefits of dating another Cape. You get this shit. I'm sorry to run out on you though."

Piper watched Dick wriggle into the tight black jeans and silently agreed with him. "It's fine. Take care of your sort-of sidekick."

"Thanks. This was fun. Seriously, Piper, I am very bummed about walking out on this date early. You're good if I call you for date number two the next time I'm free, right?"

"Of course."

"Great."

Dick pulled him close for another incredible kiss, murmured a goodbye, and then he was gone, leaving a very dazed Pied Piper in his wake.


	4. Chapter 4

"Dick, hi. I was wondering when you'd..." Piper trailed off when his sort-of boyfriend (maybe? They hadn't discussed it yet despite seeing each other, exclusively on Piper's side, for over a month) stalked past him into his apartment and started moving furniture around in the living room, intently looking for something. He was visibly tense and scowling. "Um...is there something I can help you with?" Piper shut and locked the door and joined Dick in the living room, thoroughly confused.

"Hold on. This will only take a sec." Dick peered at Piper's sound system, then went to stand in front of it and held his arm out in front of him, slowly turning until he apparently found an angle he liked. Then he crossed the room, bent down in front of an end table, and felt along under the tabletop. Scowling once more, he pulled off a little metal bat symbol with a blinking red light. "Not funny, Bruce." The light abruptly switched off. Dick tossed it to Piper. "I'd take a blow torch to it, but it'd serve the jerk right if you reverse-engineered it instead."

"I just might do that." Piper was exceptionally discomfited. He had super-hearing from his robot ears. He should have  _heard_ the surveillance device working. In addition, how the hell had it been placed in his apartment to begin with? He'd designed his home security system himself.

"There are at least two more in here, but that's just what I know about. I'm sorry to start the date this way, but I think we'd better search the place."

"Oh god. Dick, I'm a pack rat. That could take hours." If not days.

"Then let's just go upstairs for now. He, uh...he's got paranoid tendencies when it comes to us ex-sidekicks but he doesn't bug bedrooms. Even his creeping respects some boundaries."

Piper wanted to point out that they'd had sex on the couch before, so that was a flaw in Dick's logic, but he was also trying really hard not to think about the fact that Batman had possibly listened in on him having sex with the original Robin.

No, he couldn't have listened in. Piper was still alive, after all.

They went upstairs, and as soon as Piper shut the door behind him Dick enveloped him in a tight hug. "Hartley I am so, so sorry. I swear, I had no idea about the bugs. I mean, it's not the first time he's done that to someone I've dated but I honestly didn't expect it this time. I mean, I'm not a teenager anymore and we're barely speaking right now."

"It's okay."

"No, it's not. You're trembling. It's very clearly not okay."

Piper glanced down at his hands and saw that Dick was right. His anxiety and paranoia was amped up to eleven at the moment, but he hadn't noticed the way he was shaking. That was a worrying sign. "I suppose I should have mentioned this earlier. Um, where I've spent some time on the wrong side of the law...Batman terrifies me."

"That's what he's going for. There's no shame in it, trust me." He ran his hands down Piper's arms, took both his hands and gave them a squeeze. "God, Hartley. I'm so sorry about all of this. If I had known-"

"Dick, it's okay. It's not your fault. I'll have Wally help me check the rest of the house later. I'm sure the search won't take nearly as long with a speedster's help." They went to sit down on the end of the bed, and Piper ended up anxiously tapping his hands against his knees. "I guess now's as good a time to ask as any. Does...he seem to have a problem with us dating?"

"I don't know, and frankly I don't care if he does."

Piper arched a brow. Dick's personality, he'd come to learn, was generally on the playful side. The man adored puns, so-bad-it's-good movies, and nerding out over music and museums, which made dating very compatible for them. He did have a broody side, but it didn't come out nearly as often as Piper's. When it did though...Batman was definitely the most obvious trigger Piper had detected thus far.

"Okay. Generally I agree, it's just...the man took you in when you were a child, right? My family's started asking questions about you. I'd just wondered if anything like that was going on on your end, and if we should talk about it. Where my identity's public and yours isn't, things could get complicated."

"Oh, right." Dick bit his lip as he thought, which was very distracting. As was the fact that they were sitting on Piper's bed, but he took the effort to keep his attention focused. This was important, and making out with the bendy acrobat had gotten him off track on this discussion too many times already. "Hm...well, considering we've spent the most time together in our civilian identities, I think that's how we should be official. You should pretend not to know me when I'm Nightwing."

"No one would believe I was dating Nightwing anyway. Hell, I'm not sure I believe it most of the time."

"Oh, and is dating Dick Grayson not exciting in any way?"

"Something about the clingy black spandex with the finger stripes lends your alter ego more bragging rights in the gay community, but you're right. You're still well out of my league in your civilian identity. It's just slightly more plausible sounding since we've got that society background we conceivably could have met through."

"As opposed to a loud mouthed ginger."

"Exactly."

Dick took his hand again. "You're still shaking. Overall I think you're taking this stalked by Batman thing really well. I wish he hadn't upset you like this though. It's not fair. And also, I am not out of your league, Hartley. As Nightwing or Dick Grayson."

"Hm...I think any remotely reflective surface proves otherwise, but thank you for humoring me."

Dick's eyes narrowed, an annoyed pout on his face. "Kay. So I won't pretend I don't know I'm good looking. That's disingenuous, to say the least, especially given how much time I spend playing it up. And I do put kind of an embarrassing amount of work into it. That being said, you're good looking too, Hartley."

Piper rolled his eyes. "I'm average looking at best." His feelings about his looks tended to change based on whether he was in a relationship or not, and with whom. Sometimes he felt like hot shit indeed, but definitely not lately.

"You've got some self-esteem issues, which makes perfect sense based on what I've heard about your background," Dick said, clearly launching into one of those eerily on-point mentored-by-Batman detective analyses he sometimes did. "You don't dress well and it looks almost defensive to me. Like a can't win, don't try sort of fashion sense. And you clearly focus your efforts on projects that are less frivolous than figuring out which colors and suit cuts flatter you the most. I like that in a guy."

Piper took a deep breath. "I have a feeling I'm going to regret asking, but what do you know about my background?"

It might have been his imagination but it looked like Dick was blushing a little. "Look, I'm a detective and Wally doesn't have a filter. I wouldn't do anything as bad as bugging your house, but I might come across like a creeper if I...shit. I already sound like a creeper."

Piper leaned forward and planted a quick kiss on his lips. "If you've looked into me with Bat-family style scrutiny and you're still here, I'll choose to consider that a good sign."

"Oh believe me, I'm very invested in making this work. It's not often I get to date someone as unabashedly nerdy as I am. I always had to downplay it with my last boyfriend. And my most recent ex-girlfriend..."

"My ex asked me why I had so many books. He said I should just use the library instead of throwing away so much money, never mind the fact that I'm independently wealthy. Also, he doubted my ability to actually read enough of them for it to be worth it."

"Ugh. You should have dumped him on the spot."

"Come to think of it, I really should have." Piper frowned. "The more I think on it, Wally was probably right. Michael was kind of a jerk."

"He did say something about your low sense of self-worth contributing to your dating decisions. Was he actually right about something?"

"I think that new girlfriend of his probably helped him with that insight. It doesn't seem like something he could have come up with without Linda's help. By the way, isn't she a nice change of pace from Connie? I think he might actually be growing up."

Dick rubbed his thumb over the palm of Piper's hand. "I've only met her once so far, but she seemed nice. Piper, I'm not here to discuss Wally's love life."

"I didn't think you were." Piper shrugged. "I know I talk about him a lot, but I didn't think you minded. Where you're his other best friend and all."

"I've got a different sort of friendship with him than you, I think. I go months at a time without seeing him sometimes, but when you've been friends with a guy since you were twelve you still feel like brothers the next time you see him, even if you're clueless about a lot of the things going on in his life. I never actually even met Connie. I heard the most about her after she dumped Wally for Chunk."

"Ugh, you dodged so many bullets then. That was a terrible relationship. I did a happy dance when they finally broke up." Piper gave a small shudder. "When Wally first pitched setting us up on a date he wanted us to double with him and Connie. Finger stripes be damned, that was not happening."

"I want to cycle back to something from earlier in the conversation. You said your parents were asking questions about me. I was under the impression you didn't talk to your parents."

"Oh, that. We reconciled a few months ago." Piper frowned, considering how much he really wanted to say on the subject. "It's a bit...it's a bit tense right now, but I've been going over for the occasional family dinner and whatnot. And they're letting me take my sister out for day trips and stuff, which is nice. The worst part of being cut off from them was being separated from my baby sister."

"I can't even imagine. The closest thing I've got to a younger sibling is the new Robin. Actually, I'm really liking this kid, but where we've only known each other for like a year and a half it's not remotely the same thing." Dick frowned. "They really kept you from seeing your sister?"

"I almost don't blame them. I mean, I was an unstable supervillain. Although I wasn't at first. At first I was just a scared gay kid sleeping in his car because his parents threw him out. Ah, shit, there's the bitterness again. I don't want to start on this tangent again." He got up and started pacing, all kinds of nervous energy coming to the surface. "Maybe we should go out and do something tonight. I'm getting antsy just sitting here talking about upsetting things. Talking about my parents isn't supposed to be upsetting anymore. Shit. Damn bitterness."

"Believe me, I have nothing but sympathy on this particular topic." Dick walked over to him and placed his hands on Piper's shoulders, stilling his restless movements. "I don't think we should go out. You're really jittery right now, so being around people probably isn't a great idea, right? Let's order food and watch a movie or something."

Piper blinked a few times, caught off guard by Dick's insight. "Good call."

"I'll run downstairs for the take out menus. I'll let you know if I see anymore of the bugs while I'm down there."

* * *

Some hours later, Piper was awake but pleasantly drowsy in bed with his bendy acrobat snuggled up behind him, dead to the world and lightly snoring (really, if one didn't have super-hearing they probably wouldn't have heard snoring of any kind). The building anxiety that began with Dick's frantic entrance and discovery of bat-bug had disappeared entirely, replaced by contentment.

Piper wasn't used to that. Normally, if he started down the road to panic it stayed with him for a few days, making his skin crawl and his limbs feel heavy while he felt a constant weight in his chest. Sometimes it erupted into an actual panic attack, but not always. It never went away so quickly of its own accord.

The television was still on, though Piper was barely paying attention to it, instead focusing on the feel of the warm body pressed against him. He felt incredibly lucky, to have somehow drawn this man's attention to him and somehow keep it. He knew who some of Nightwing's exes were, after all. He was thankful he apparently had more in the way of nerdery going for him than Starfire or Arsenal (the rational part of his brain knew that having so very many exes, all of whom seemed perfectly desirable if one were bisexual, was a red flag but Piper was choosing to ignore that). Piper had been infatuated with Dick for a good long while already, and now he felt in danger of falling in love.

"Dick, are you still awake?" he asked, even though he knew Dick had fallen asleep. But the sound of Piper's voice roused him, since he was an incredibly light sleeper, and he groggily planted a kiss on Piper's neck.

"Something wrong?"

"No, actually. I was just wondering, um...would you be free to meet my mother and I for lunch on Sunday? She...she just really wants to meet you." Piper suspected she thought meeting a boyfriend and having a nice day out together would exonerate her from any future charges of homophobia. It wouldn't, but he could still see how this was important to her. Much to his surprise, Piper realized it was important to him, too. He finally had a boyfriend he actually wanted to show off to his parents (as opposed to the ones in the past, whom he'd dated knowing they'd infuriate his parents.)

"I'll try my damndest to keep Sunday open, but you know how the life goes."

"You really don't have to. If it's weird. Or too much trouble. It probably is weird, right? Since we haven't been...uh..."

"Together long?" Dick gave him a little squeeze. "I've managed more dates with you this month than I usually manage to pull off around the Costume, and that's because I've really wanted to be here. I really like you, Hartley, and I'd love to start meeting the important people in your life. If you're ready for it, I've got a couple people I'd like to introduce to you-not Batman!"

He must have felt the way Piper tensed up.

"I'm barely talking to him myself right now. I promise, meeting Batman is far, far into the future."

"O-okay. Who were you thinking of, then?"

"Tim, at the very least. He's the new Robin, and like I said, the kid's important to me. But I've got a couple of others too..."

* * *

And that's how, for the second time in as many weeks, Piper found himself in the same room as Superman. 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks to Vios Shadow for getting my attention on this fic again. I'd nearly forgotten about it!


	5. Chapter 5

Superman, it turned out, was really, _really_ nice. Piper's slightly broken cynical brain wasn't quite sure  what to do with so much good nature and geniality. At first he assumed he was being mocked somehow, though he couldn't detect anything but sincerity in the Kents' earnest expressions (Superman's parents were possibly the most adorable little old couple Piper had ever met, which was also a shock to the emotionally damaged young man).

They were sitting down at the kitchen table of the Kent family home for an honest to god home cooked meal, much of it grown by the Kents themselves. Mrs. Kent and Dick were doing most of the talking, reminiscing about days gone by. The whole thing reminded Piper of TV movies he'd happened on when he was a kid. This was what families were supposed to look like. That was what  _houses_ were supposed to look like, as opposed to the elaborate mansions he'd honest to god gotten lost in a few times when he was a kid (eventually the maid always noticed he was gone and helped him back to the nursery, but it  always took her a few hours). The Kents had some of Superman's Daily Planet articles cut out and stuck to the fridge with magnets. Not the ones about Superman's heroics, since those were written by other people. The boring stuff Clark Kent had written about Metropolis local politics and a farmer's market the city was unsuccessfully attempting to launch.

Piper almost jumped out of his skin when he felt a tap against his calf. He looked up and realized Dick was eying him nervously. “You okay? You're being unusually quiet.”

“Food coma,” Mr. Kent said with a laugh. “They must not feed you like this in the city.”

There were an awful lot of carbs on his plate. If Piper had  had much of an appetite, Mr. Kent's guess would have been a good one . As it was, he was just feeling reticent and a bit intimidated.

Which was ridiculous and he knew it. There was absolutely nothing off-putting at all about the Kents  (unless one found the lack of off-putting-ness off-putting) . Even knowing Clark Kent was Superman (Piper couldn't get himself to mentally refer to the guy as Clark, and as such there had been a slight delay every time he'd addressed him by name so he could make sure he actually said Clark) didn't explain anything. Superman, though an impressive superhero, wasn't a terrifying one. He didn't scare people, Piper had never faced him as a villain, and even if he had he'd never have panicked about it. Kind of like he'd never been afraid of Barry Allen. Those two had enough integrity that you knew nothing scarier than a jail cell was waiting for you if you got busted (as a skinny little gay kid, the jail cell might have been terrifying in its own right but Piper had been very good at breaking himself out of Iron Heights).

Piper was starting to realize just how screwed up he was from his dysfunctional life. It was the  _normalcy_ of the whole thing that scared him. Nothing in his life had ever prepared him for a sit down dinner with friendly people who wanted to hear about his day because they cared about the people around them. He was out of his comfort zone, and he didn't know how to respond. The cues he'd taken in from TV shows were only going to get him so far in  a setting this completely alien .

Dick lightly touched his wrist under the table and smirked at him. Piper frowned, unable to guess what he was trying to communicate, and went back to stumbling his way through the dinner as best he could. Making conversation with the Kents was difficult. This part of Kansas was so far removed from Keystone City that Piper had nothing to latch onto to even try to relate to the pleasant family in front of him, and they were completely ignoring superheroics so he couldn't even chat about that with Superma-Clark.  _Clark_ . They weren't talking about superheroics so he really needed to use the guy's actual name.

What a nightmare. Piper was learning an awful lot about himself, including the unfortunate fact that he was more comfortable with open hostility than healthy social interaction.

After dinner the guests retreated to the family room while the Kents washed up. Dick immediately offered to help and was shooed away for his efforts. Superman didn't even try, just smiled knowingly.

“Of course I could clear everything up for them in seconds, but that's not the point,” he said, once they were seated on the comfy, faded furnishings that would have given Rachel Rathaway an aneurism if she saw them.

“Oh, speaking of speed,” Dick said. “Hartley, did you and Wally get around to searching your building?”

“We did.” Piper happily latched onto the new turn in conversation. “We found seventeen more bugs, mostly concentrated in my workshop, which I thought was amusing. Does he think I'm still a supervillain or something?”

“Possibly.”

“Well, I probably bored him out of his mind if he took the time to listen in to me fixing Wally's busted tech. He just heard me arguing with NPR broadcasts and badly singing along with the college radio station.”

Dick grinned. “Maybe he learned his lesson.”

“At this point I've been reformed longer than my villain career lasted. Why would he think I'm still a supervillain? I mean, this would be a very long con, wouldn't it?”

“You'll have to have some patience with Bruce,” Clark advised. “None of the villains in Gotham ever actually reform, and he's suffered from longer cons than this. I don't like it, of course, but I also don't blame him for being as cautious as he is. And though it is invasive and out of line, Dick, you do understand _why_ he's so uncomfortable with you dating a reformed supervillain, right?”

Dick crossed his arms over his chest and scowled, the picture of youthful indignation. “Because he's a pompous hypocrite? My boyfriend's  _actually_ reformed. Can we talk about Catwoman and Talia? Oh god, and frickin' Talia. I've read up on all of Piper's super crimes and he has absolutely nothing on Bruce's trysts with super criminals. Like, seriously, he's giving me crap for dating an ex-gimmick thief who donated most of his loot to underfunded LGBT charities. But Talia's work with R'as al-Ghul is way more innocent, right? Self-righteous, stubborn, insufferable-”

“I'm going to stop you there before you use language Ma wouldn't approve of under this roof,” Clark said. “I know Bruce is being hypocritical and obviously you know that, but all he sees is his desire to protect you from mistakes he's made himself. Besides, he's too smart to let his prejudices against criminals blind him to Hartley's good qualities for much longer. His investigations will sway him. He's too logical to ignore facts forever. You just need to give him a little more time.”

“I'm just going to keep quiet so I don't upset your mom with my choice of words.” Dick's tone was light, and it looked like he was actually considering Superman's advice.

Piper was certainly caught on his words. From the sounds of it, Superman respected him. It was an odd thought and honestly a bit unsettling. Piper was prepared for all the costumes to hate him for his past, especially the big names in the Justice League. This revelation caught him off guard as much as the cheerful family dinner.

And he just wasn't going to think about the fact that, from the sounds of it, Batman was all but stalking him. That thought was best left alone, buried as far in his subconscious as it would go.

By the time the Kents joined them in the living room they were having a lighter conversation about the Metropolis Jazz Fesitval. The Daily Planet was having Superman cover it, and Piper had been invited to run a table. They made tentative plans to meet up again, and Dick lamented that he most likely wouldn't be able to attend since Bruce was going to be out of town that weekend and he anticipated having to help Robin patrol Gotham.

They played Trivial Pursuit, and once dinner was a bit more digested cookies and cocoa appeared. It was nice. An hour into boardgames, Piper even started relaxing a little, and made a few more efforts at participating in the conversation.

Mr. Kent and Dick started trading amusing anecdotes back and forth about Clark and Dick's respective experiences of being the smart, nerdy kids in high school. Hartley felt safe enough to jump in, and told the story about the time his science fair project got him in the local paper and offered a visit to a nearby branch of S.T.A.R. labs, but his parents were away at the time and he'd needed a guardian with him to get into the facility. “My grades were always atrocious, but that was behavior based. Building my own hearing aid from scratch was the first indication any of my teachers got that I was actually a total nerd  and they just hadn't been holding my interest . Unfortunately, it also clued in the bullies  about the nerdom .”

Dick winced sympathetically. “As any kind of over-achieving will.”

“Let me get this straight, son. You earned yourself an honor like that with no support or outside help, and your folks wouldn't cut their vacation short a few days to come home and celebrate with you?” Mr. Kent looked heartbroken. 

“Uh...they actually got mad at me for asking.” Hartley frowned, and was starting to regret having told the story. He'd always thought it amusing. Back when he was in with the Rogues, he and Mark and James would go back and forth with stories of parental neglect trying to one up each other. James usually won, since he'd been out and out abused by his parents, but Piper always impressed the others with his ability to compete despite his privileged upbringing. Although to be fair, the fact that the Rathaways hadn't noticed he was born deaf until he was two years old usually won him a lot of points.

The Kents were all staring at him with an unnerving amount of sympathy. It felt like the metaphorical crickets should have been chirping. Oh wait, there were actual crickets chirping, although Hartley and Superman were probably the only people who could hear them from the living room.

“Well, uh, anyway it wasn't so bad. I got shoved into lockers for the rest of the quarter and was duct taped into a recycling bin and rolled around the parking lot until I threw up, but then I got the principal implicated in a scandal and I won some respect from the bullies for it. I wasn't popular, but they stopped beating me up.” His epilogue didn't seem to help. If anything, the crickets sounded louder.

“What was the scandal?” Dick asked, apparently trying to help.

“Oh, he wouldn't approve the GSA I was trying to get off the ground, but a white power student group was meeting in the band room. They called it something else, of course, but if you spent even five minutes looking into it you knew what they really were. Central City might not have been very supportive of the LGBT community back in the day, but that hypocrisy still struck people as too much.”

“Did you get your GSA?”

“Nope. I still wasn't out at the time, which was honestly kind of the point. I wanted a safe space where we could meet and support each other, so I was claiming to be a straight member of the GSA.” Piper rolled his eyes, thinking back on his insecure youth. He could barely remember what it was like to even want to fit in with the straights. Oh the joys of no longer living with his parents, and not having to give thought to the weight of their expectations. Even rebelling against those expectations had taken up too much space in his consciousness. “I think my supposed heterosexuality made my call for the GSA seem less urgent. Plus, you know, the rampant homophobia of the times. As opposed to the quieter, more respectful middle class sort of homophobia the kids at school are dealing with now.”

“Yeah, just look at how far we've come since then,” Dick said with a laugh.

Once again, the Kents were very quiet, and also quietly heartbroken from the looks of it.

“It isn't right,” Mrs. Kent finally said, voice soft and full of unwavering conviction. “No one should have the gall to make a child feel unwanted or alone, no matter how different they are from other children. It's good that you tried to make a difference, Hartley. If you'd been my son, I'd have been proud of you.”

“Th-thank you,” he mumbled, not really sure what else to say.

The evening was definitely winding down. Piper was greatly looking forward to getting home and hiding in his bedroom with some over-ear headphones and his music collection. He'd probably spend the next day or so recovering from the uncomfortable social outing, and hopefully be confident enough to face people again before his next Keystone Out! meet up. 

Dick hugged Mr. and Mrs. Kent and was sent off with a plastic container full of leftovers. Mrs. Kent tried to hug Piper, but he jumped at the contact. Mr. Kent settled for an awkward handshake. They'd driven in from Keystone, so Dick was waiting in the car when Superman pulled Piper aside to talk to him for a few minutes.

He wondered if this was going to be the, 'hurt my friend and I'll destroy you,' speech. It didn't really seem like Clark Kent's thing, but then, people who realized he was Superman probably didn't need a speech to be on their best behavior.

“I just wanted to apologize about how tonight went.”

Well that wasn't anything Piper was expecting. “S-sorry? I mean, what? Nothing went wrong.”

“And yet you were really uncomfortable the entire time. Don't patronize me, Hartley. I could hear your vitals just as well as you could. You were nervous and off-center. It was short sighted of me. This is usually a good setting for people, honestly. My folks are good at putting people at ease, and when we have people to dinner they usually get an unguarded, relaxed sort of night. But there's always so much nostalgia around. It doesn't always work with people with certain...unpleasantness in their background, I guess is the best way to put that. So I'm sorry for not thinking that through. Next time we'll have you and Dick come and visit in Metropolis. I'm sure you'll feel more comfortable with Lois. She has a certain witty cynicism in common with you.”

“It's fine, really. Your parents are very nice people.” And he felt like even more of a freak than usual for finding that so ridiculously uncomfortable. “I guess I'm still getting used to interacting with people like them. I haven't known that many people who are that honest and still pleasant.”

“Mm. Bruce doesn't like visiting me here that much either. Like I said, you'll probably feel more comfortable if you visit us in Metropolis.”

Piper blinked a few times. “Bruce…?” Did Superman just imply he had something in common with Batman?

And then he made it worse by outright stating it. “You know, Hartley, it's a shame you and Bruce are starting off on the wrong foot. I think you'll get along once you get to know each other. You have so much in common. I mean, assuming things keep going the way they are with you and Dick.” He smiled, which was both very handsome, almost reassuring, and kind of terrifying. “He seems very happy with you, by the way. I've seen him through some tough romantic woes in the past, so this is a nice change of pace. I'm glad Wally set you two up.”

“You...are?”

Superman laughed. “Yes, though I'm guessing you're going to have a hard time believing that. I think the two of you will be good for each other. Well, I'd better not keep you. I'll see you at the Jazz Festival, okay?”

“Absolutely. Good night.” 

He must have looked dazed when he got into the car. Dick shot him a concerned look. “He didn't do the 'be good or else,' speech, did he?”

“No. It was kind of the opposite. He said he was happy for us and he thought we'd be good for each other.”

Dick visibly relaxed. “Good. I didn't think he would. He's only tried to intimidate one of my exes and honestly...I'm not sorry he did. Roy was being a total ass at the time and being flown laps around the cornfield at superspeed by his ankles really straightened him out.  For a couple weeks, anyway. ”

That sounded like a bit more than a threatening speech but Piper decided to let that go.

“So he thinks we're going to be good for each other? That's interesting. I'd been worrying the different ways we're damaged might set each other off.” Dick turned in his seat to face Piper. “You've been so nervous lately.”

“I'm just kind of a nervous person. I'm pretty good at hiding it, under normal circumstances. Most people don't pick up on it.” He reached over and bopped Dick's nose. “Stop being such a detective.”

“Sorry, can't help it at this point. So...what should I do? Shut up about it and let you deal because you've got coping strategies at this point in your life, or is there anything I can do to actually help?”

“Hm...considering my coping strategies have had me suiting up in spandex and robbing banks to Robin Hood in the past, I think it's safe to say they're not always the best. You can check up on me if you feel like it. I don't mind.”

“Cool.” Dick turned on the radio sat back in his seat. Smallville was a good two hour drive from Keystone, so they had a bit of a road trip ahead of them.

“So...I assume meeting your mom on Sunday's going to be a bit different from dinner with the Kents.”

Piper smirked. “That's a bit of an understatement. I'd try to prepare you but I don't think that's possible. If nothing else, at least it won't last long. Mom's never had much of an attention span when it comes to me, so I'm sure she'll be off to some other social engagement as soon as brunch i s finished.”

“That's...”

Piper sighed. “I always end up doing that around normal people. I'm sorry. I have a...I guess a complicated relationship with my parents. We love each other, really. I just had to stop expecting things from them that aren't going to happen to be able to see it. They're very self-absorbed, and their emotional range is a bit limited, but they're not bad people. I'm sure it sounds really different when I talk about the past though. Dick…?” He'd gone very quiet, and there was an interesting expression on his face that Piper couldn't quite read.

“You just referred to me as a normal person. I'm a circus brat who was taken in by an unstable Cape to start fighting crime in fish scale underpants when I was eleven. Like, our childhoods were different, but I've introduced many an awkward pause into conversations by trying to tell funny stories from my childhood. Don't worry so much, okay Hartley?”

Piper laughed and gave himself a little shake. “I can't always help it, but I'll certainly try.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh dear, I think my therapy sessions are showing :P One of my stated goals for therapy has been to feel more comfortable around well adjusted people...


	6. Chapter 6

Of course, nothing went wrong when Piper and Dick were supposed to meet up with the Kents, who knew all about their double lives and would have perfectly understood having dinner pushed back because of superheroics. Hell, since they were nice, sympathetic people seemingly without a judgmental bone in their body, they probably would have been cool with an excuse as mundane as a flat tire.

No, the superheroics had to crop up when they were supposed to meet with Rachel, who was always on the lookout for a reason to be displeased, especially when it came to her gay son's love life (she claimed she'd accepted his homosexuality and wasn't secretly hoping he'd change his mind, yet she still let him know about every eligible, age appropriate daughter her friends had).

The original plan was for Dick to come by Saturday night after his patrol in Bludhaven. They'd spend the night together, head out to Chez Ennui in the morning, and then after the awkward obligatory meal swing by Wally's house to hang with him and Linda and wait for superhero stuff to come up (because three costumes in one room meant superhero stuff would inevitably come up). Really, the plan sounded far too idealistic to work out but Piper was trying to be more optimistic. Dick said he didn't mind his cynicism, but Piper also suspected that was a bit of a fib.

Saturday evening, when Piper got home from his shift at the soup kitchen he went upstairs to shower, put on clothes he found almost flattering, limited himself to five minutes staring at his reflection and wishing his nose wasn't such an odd shape, and then sat down in the living room to wait for his boyfriend.

Four hours later he was asleep on the couch, his nice pants had chocolate ice cream stains on them, and a carton of half eaten ice cream had melted a new ring onto his coffee table.

He still hadn't heard from Dick the next morning, and they were supposed to be meeting up with Rachel at eleven. With a resigned sigh, Piper cleaned up the living room, got changed into chocolate-stain free clothes, and started mentally preparing himself for the prospect of spending nearly an hour in his mother's company without anyone else to buffer. He thought about brushing out his hair, which had gotten rumpled in his sleep, but ultimately decided against it. Rachel hated his ponytail so it didn't much matter if it was messy or sleek.

For the hell of it, he tried giving Dick a call but of course it went straight to voicemail.

* * *

“Darling, good morning. Come here, dearest.” Rachel kissed both of Piper's cheeks, a charming smile on her face that had fooled many an unsuspecting acquaintance into thinking her a doting mother. Piper shakily returned the smile and sat down across from her at the table. “So where's this new beau of yours?”

“Stuck in Gotham, I'm afraid. Family business came up.”

“Oh, that's right. You said you were dating the Grayson boy now?” To his great surprise his mother actually looked _happy_. “The next time you do manage to get him to yourself, do tell him that your father and I send our best to Bruce, and we'd love to chat with him some time about a possible collaboration. You know he owns the Daily Planet now? If he's interested in publishing, he really ought to renew his business relationship with Osgood. We do have something of a history with the Waynes.”

Huh. Piper felt a bit foolish for not anticipating this. Rachel couldn't care less that he was dating someone he was happy with. Dick had connections to their society circles. He was a networking opportunity. _That's_ why she cared.

Well at least her desire for said networking was keeping her from calling attention to being stood up.

They placed their orders and the next fifteen minutes passed in slightly awkward small talk, the two of them dancing around all the subjects they knew were going to set the other off.

“Darling, I'm so sorry your, er, partner couldn't make it out today. Do you think he'll be able to free up some time next month for your sister's birthday party? Jerrie's determined to meet him. Of course, I'd hoped for a chance to talk to him myself first, as I'm sure Jerrie will secure all his attention to herself. She has that way about her, you know. That charming innocence.”

Piper smiled, thinking of his baby sister. “Dick's going to love her. I can't make any promises without talking to him first. You know, it's already a long distance relationship and he's always got so many commitments, but I'll pitch it to him. And I'll definitely be at Jerrie's party. Thanks for inviting me.”

Rachel's smile almost slipped. “Oh come now, Hartley. This can't be the first I've mentioned it to you.”

“Actually this really is. I'd assumed you guys were doing something for the sweet sixteen but somehow it always seems to have slipped your mind when you've been talking to me. I guess it's a good thing I've got a boyfriend that's more interesting than me now.”

“Really, Hartley. You always take everything in the most unflattering way possible.”

Piper quirked an eyebrow. “And how should I take my parents forgetting to invite me to my baby sister's birthday party until I landed a boyfriend they wanted to meet? Seriously, spin that in a flattering light for me. I'll wait.”

Rachel narrowed her eyes. “Perhaps we got into the habit of excluding you during those long years you spent doing your absolute best to humiliate your family and ruin every social engagement you were involved in, _including_ your sister's parties. Or do you not remember Jerrie hiding in the pantry sobbing her eyes out on her fifth birthday when you lost your temper and punched the magician we hired?”

“The _bigot_ you hired did a super fey mean imitation of me to give the parents a cheap laugh at my expense. I just showed him that some of us sissies could hit.”

“Hartley, no one knew you were gay then. You were just being too sensitive, like you always are. Look, this party is for Jerrie. I don't want you spoiling it by making it about yourself and this air of victimhood you're always carrying with you. We're family and we love you, darling. I'd love to be able to send you as many invitations as I can think of without this awful anxiety that you'll act out. You know how Jerrie is. She doesn't understand half of what you're always ranting and raving about. All she sees is that her brother is upset and she ends up thinking she did something wrong. She shouldn't have to worry about your tantrums on her special day.”

Piper balled his shaking hands into fists. The words had struck home, but damned if he would let Rachel see that. “Right. Because god forbid you just not invite horrible people to your inane parties to begin with. But I know me feeling safe and welcome has never been especially important to you and Dad.”

“You're twisting my words.”

“You're guilt tripping me for standing up for myself. Just say it, Mom. You're still ashamed of me and you always have been.”

“Hartley, that's not...can we talk about this later?” Rachel shot a quick look around the restaurant, reassuring herself that no one was paying attention to them.

Piper balled his napkin up and tossed it on his plate. He stood up, took out his wallet, and tossed some bills onto the table. “I'm not doing this.”

“Perhaps that's for the best. After you've cooled down please give me a call, darling. We should talk about this.”

He bit back a retort he'd probably regret later and then stormed out of the restaurant.

* * *

Dick stumbled into Wally's living room later that night. Piper was in comfortable, scrubby clothes playing video games with Linda. He'd spent the whole day trying not to be mad at Dick, but considering how the solo brunch date with his mother had gone, he was hoping for one hell of a story.

The fact that Dick was shaky on his feet and almost as pale as Piper when his skin tone was normally tan and healthy was already buying back some sympathy points. Linda shut off the TV and Piper jumped to his feet. “What happened?”

“Sorry about the...about being off the grid. Tim got in over his head on a case and called me in for support. Poison Ivy hit me with something. I think it's out of my system now but I'm still not feeling my best. I'd have called, I swear, but I was in a coma. I only woke up an hour ago.”

Piper stared at him incredulously while Linda awkwardly collected up the controllers, scrupulously avoiding eye contact with either member of the couple. Wally helped Dick sit down on the sofa and handed him a few throw pillows.

“Why are you here?” Piper was very proud of himself for keeping his voice low and even.

“Um...what?”

“Dick, why are you here? You were poisoned into a coma, you could have died. You should be home resting, not...fuck, but that's a perfectly valid reason to blow off a date, okay?”

“Is it?” Dick blinked a few times and then rubbed his forehead. “Sorry, head's spinning a little. Look, I know the costume infringes on the civilian life a lot. I seriously do try my best, and I'm sorry I wasn't there to meet your mother. I know you weren't looking forward to it and I shouldn't have left you alone for that-”

“Well you made up for it by not actually dying.”

Wally rubbed Dick's shoulder. “He's not mad at you, dude. He wasn't even mad before you got here.”

“I don't know about that,” Linda said. “Hartley was definitely simmering. If the excuse had been less serious than near fatal encounter with a dangerous supervillain we'd be having a very different conversation.”

“We would, but as is...you should be home resting.” Piper frowned, upset with Dick for taking unnecessary risks on top of the ones that already came with superheroics and upset with himself for how personally he'd taken the lack of phone calls while being blown off. Hell, he hadn't even been blown off, really. It was a coma. That was perfectly valid. Why on earth did Dick feel guilty about it?

“I'm already here though. Can we rest together at your place?” Dick threw him the puppy eyes, which he really should have looked into weaponizing somehow. Piper probably wouldn't have needed the help of modified flutes to hypnotize people if his baby-blues could do that. “I've had a miserable day. I'd like to cuddle with my boyfriend.”

Linda smiled. “I was losing at Mariokart anyway. You can have him.”

“Thanks.” Dick's gaze didn't leave Piper. “You're really not mad at me?”

“Why would I be mad at you?”

Wally looked awfully smug about something. “Yeah, Dick. Only a real asshole would get mad at you for missing a date because you got your ass handed to you.”

“Or a sixteen year old going through some serious shit.”

“Hey, the two of us were both sixteen year olds going through serious shit, and yet came out capable of empathy.”

“Slow down there, red,” Linda said. “You're easily the most obtuse person in the room so I'm not sure you should be bragging about this supposed empathy.”

“I had to bail on Roy an awful lot when he really needed me,” Dick said, frowning. “He had plenty of empathy the first ten or twelve times it happened. You saw him blow up when it was literally like the twentieth time I left him hanging.” He sighed and rubbed at his eyes. “I really wish we weren't still snarking at each other about a relationship that ended when I was seventeen. Ostensibly you're friends with Roy.”

“Ostensibly. It's mostly because so many of my friends have had the misfortune of falling in love with him. Fucking mystery to me, how he's managed that. You and Donna are so smart. You should know so much better.”

“Look, can we not drag out my relationship drama in front of Piper, please? Especially since I'm feeling like utter crap?”

“Yeah, this is about as crap as I've seen you look,” Linda pointed out. “You almost look like a normal human being.”

Dick put on a cheery, over the top smile in an attempt at snarking back at her, but it barely lasted a second. He did look really wiped. Piper helped him up. “Come on. I might not have been poisoned, but my day wasn't exactly stellar. Cuddling sounds good.”

“See you guys later,” Wally called. Piper could hear him and Linda discussing his relationship while he helped Dick into his car. He did his best to tune them out, but it was a bit of a challenge.

Apparently Wally had decided they were frickin' adorable together. It was a little patronizing, but not actually a bad thing. Dick did bring some of his warm and fuzzy tendencies to the surface. Maybe Wally was actually being observant for once.

* * *

Some hours in bed and a few bad movies later and Dick was starting to look more like himself. His face had a little more color and he wasn't nearly as lethargic. Piper was glad to see it, though still generally discomfited.

“You really shouldn't have pushed yourself to travel while you were still under the weather.” He brushed Dick's bangs back and placed a kiss at his temple. “Next time, just text.”

“Sorry. To be fair, I didn't know you were going to be so compassionate about this.” Dick snuggled more firmly into Piper's arms and let out a contented sigh. “I keep forgetting that just because I don't see you at team ups, it doesn't mean you're new to this stuff. Like, you're one of few people who actually gets what it's like to have bouts of unconsciousness and being taken unexpectedly hostage and flown to a supervillain base in the middle of fucking nowhere interfere with your social obligations. Even other superheroes don't always get it.”

Piper wrinkled his brow in confusion. “Why on earth not? It must happen to them too.”

“It happens in Gotham a lot more than in other cities. My exes always assumed I had to be lying about it at least some of the time.”

“Huh. Wally has literally disappeared on me for weeks at a time. I never hold it against him. Maybe they just need to spend some time with someone whose powers involve accidental time traveling and parallel universe hopping.”

“You know, come to think of it Wally's pretty much the only friend I've got who doesn't get mad over that stuff.” Dick was quiet for a moment and Piper enjoyed running his hands through his shiny black hair. “I'm still sorry I wasn't there for you today, excusable circumstances aside. You said one on one time with your mom is still hard for you guys. Was it a total shit show?”

“It...no, I can't even pretend. It didn't go well at all. She managed to get under my skin again, and I honestly thought I'd figured out how to deal with every avenue of emotional attack she's got left. But she...urgh. She made it out like I've hurt my sister by being the problem child in the family. And I know it's bullshit. I know she's just deflecting her responsibility for failing me back onto me. Like, I wouldn't have made so many scenes if I'd been supported and protected. I _know_ that. But she's right. At the end of the day, Jerrie has been hurt by my behavior.”

“How does your sister feel about that?”

Piper shrugged. “Who knows? I never get to talk to Jerrie without Mom and Dad around. I haven't seen her one on one since I was nineteen, when they kicked me out. Oh, sorry, according to Mom and Dad I ran away and chose to live in my car. Of course, that makes Dad reporting my car as stolen and having me arrested an odd detail in their reconstructed narrative. Because they only wanted the best for me, ever, and I kept refusing their help and support like the willful brat I am, you see.”

“God, that sucks. Hartley, I'm so sorry. Um...have you ever thought...this is kind of hard for me to gauge here, being an orphan who had supportive parents. But, um...is reconciling with them actually worth it? It sounds like you might actually need some space from them, just to heal.”

Piper closed his eyes, focusing on the silken hair sliding through his fingers and the steady rhythm of Dick's heartbeat. “I don't know. Maybe. It's just...I'm afraid we might not get the chance if we don't fix it now. We only started talking again when they got taken hostage by some upstart super criminals. Wally helped me save them, and then there's the fact that my work puts me in danger. Mom told me that...that she watches news reports in the guest house whenever Wally and I are fighting someone so that Jerrie can't hear and be upset by it, but that she can't think straight until she knows for sure that I'm safe. They do care about me. They're just...complicated people.”

“Sounds it. It also sounds like you'd never hurt your sister on purpose, so I hope you can shake your mom's barbs off. That wasn't fair of her.”

Piper nodded, and wished that feeling of guilt would dissolve under the weight of reason. He still felt bad about all the years he hadn't been allowed to see Jerrie, even though he knew it wasn't his fault.

“Um...so, um, Jerrie's turning sixteen next month. Mom and Dad are throwing her a huge, elaborate party. They're all dying to meet you, so we've been invited.”

“Sixteen? Your sister's a lot younger than you.” Jerrie was only a few years older than the new Robin. To Piper's amusement, Dick talked about the kid in a similar fond manner to how Piper talked about his sister.

“There's eleven years between us,” Piper said. “Neither of us were planned, thus the lengthy gap.”

“Ah. Yeah, I guess I was an accident too, but Mom liked to call me her special surprise. I think it was just hard to keep your birth control filled on the road.” Dick smirked. “It's a good thing I was an acrobatic prodigy. Mr. Haly eventually forgave Mom for getting pregnant once I proved to be adorable and have stage presence.”

“When did you start performing?”

“I started doing simple stuff when I was three. I was out on the swings by the time I was seven. Good times.” Something in Dick's expression turned sad, and even a bit guarded. Piper gently steered the conversation away from either of their childhood traumas until they eventually fell asleep with a new bad movie playing for background noise.


End file.
